"I've never seen anyone so depressed and so relaxed at the same time."

Bad news:  situation continues to deteriorate at work with piling-up paperwork, piling up work load, piling up patients, and piling up overworked, over-stressed nurses.

Good news:  In less than 72 hours I will be stretched out on a Carnival cruise ship sipping on whatever alcoholic beverage I choose to ease my troubled mind.

Either pity me, or be jealous bitches.  Your choice.

Currently The Other Side of the Mirror By Stevie Nicks Alice see related

"Alright," said Alice, "I'm going back to the other side of the mirror."

So for those not in the know, I have a Facebook page now.  I avoided it for a long time 'cause it's just another thing to keep up with.  But it's been kinda fun.  Most people would tell me, "Oh it's so cool 'cause you can find all these people you went to school with."  Problem with that is, I don't want to find most of the people I went to school with.  Only now I have started to find them.  And it's making me worry over something stupid.

Now they get to find out I'm gay.  And why the hell is this bothering me??  I went to school with most of the same people for 12 years.  Small school where everyone knows everyone else.  I graduated in a class of 17, that's how small it was.  Of course I was not out to anyone at that time, and since I've lost touch with 99% of them there's been no reason to keep them up to date on the state of things. 

Again I ask, why is this bothering me??  I don't even consider most of these people friends anymore, just people I used to be friends with.  My core group of people are the ones I care about now, but there was a long, long history with these others from Forge Ridge.  Why should I care what they think?  I can't help but think they don't already know, and I should be at a point in my life where I don't give a second thought to what other people think about me...but maybe I'm still possessed by that irrational high school fear of not being liked.  Maybe I'm more afraid of some kind of confrontation (you know, some people are as mean now as they ever were in high school) and, truth to tell, I've really not had to be confrontational with anyone about my sexuality.

And maybe, just maybe...I'm once again over-dramatizing something that won't even cause them to raise their eyebrows.  Maybe they'll be like everyone else and say, "Well duh...'bout time you admitted it."

Currently Left 4 Dead 2 By Electronic Arts see related

Who is this girl Cyndi Lauper, and why is she so unusual?

I know it's been almost a month since I updated this thing.  What can I say?  I feel like Cristie in that I have nothing to talk about anymore & I don't want to just sit here & complain.  'Course, that doesn't mean I can't come around here & check on you people...blame WoW, Left for Dead 2, and "V" for that.

But I actually have an interesting story!  So last night me, Cristie, and Jason went out to eat.  The Chinese place we went to sits in a little strip mall with a Cato's & a Blockbuster & whatnot.  (On a side note, today is Jason's birthday.)  When we left the restaurant at nine o'clock they decided to smoke one before we got in the car.  As we're standing there talking, I notice this sport SUV pull in about 7 or 8 spaces down from us.  Three guys get out but don't immediately go anywhere, they are just diggin' in the vehicle for stuff.  I see one get out the UGLIEST man bag ever & sling it over his shoulder.  He stands there while one of the other passengers rummages around & puts a man bag on of about the same large size but not as ugly.  Guy # 1 starts walking toward the chinese place, and guy # 2 starts off toward Blockbuster.  Guy # 3 who was the driver, is now at the back of the vehicle digging through stuff & comes out with a large man bag but stays at the vehicle.  Driver guy has also noticed that I'm watching all the activity (meanwhile, C & J are oblivious to their surroundings).  Guys 1 & 2 are in their respective areas for all of 10 to 15 seconds before they start coming back to the car.  While all this has been going on, I've had a growing feeling of unease.  Driver guy has made my prescense known to his companions coming back to the vehicle, and the feeling of unease explodes into "get the hell out of Dodge!" so I turn around & say quietly, "Guys, do me a favor & get in the car NOW."  I've got the key in the ignition turning the engine over before I've gotten completely in my seat.  I hear Cristie saying, "No." as she's shutting her door, and as I turn to look out my window I see guy #1 of the ugly man purse standing there about a foot & a half from the car.  How he got to the car that fast I don't know.  I asked Cristie what he said & the response was, "He asked me if we had a minute and I said 'no'."  As I'm pulling out in traffic I notice they've gotten back into their vehicle.

So there's the story.  We debated who they were & Jason thinks they were "churchies" out to convert the masses.  Now, no churchies I know of go out at 9 pm to spread the word.  And forgive the racial profiling, but all three looked to be of middle eastern descent which is rare in this area but some do come to LMU for college.  Whatever was truly going on, it triggered that ancient gut instinct man has to get out of town.

Currently Gears of War 2 Limited Edition By Microsoft see related

Even murder has its ugly side.

I know, I know...but it's my favorite line from Sideshow Bob.

You guys are getting sick of hearing my tales of woe from the office.  I'm tired of having tales of woe from the office.  Still have 1 lone nurse practitioner doing the work of 2 doctors, then they complain 'cause we don't see enough patients, then the patients complain 'cause she has no time to look at lab results, medicine refills, etc.  We can't even see sick walk-ins.  True she could do a lot to speed up (quit talking so much about non-office work, for one) but at the same time there's only so much she can do.  It's like you've got 2 horses pulling a wagon, and then 1 of the horses dies and there's no way the 1 horse left can pull the wagon but you keep abusing it because you're mad the other horse dies and then you act surprised when the 2nd one dies.  It's the only analogy I can think of.

Meanwhile, I'm still having to deal with all this crap even though I'm working on the psych side now.  Somedays it sucks being the only competent person.  It also sucks to be able to see an arguement from both sides and simutaneously agree & disagree with the opposing views.  I read somewhere once that the reason some people never get promoted is because they are so good at what they do that the company is afraid of trying to find someone else who could possibly do their work. 

I understand the Pope feels the same way.

Hello old friend.

Sometimes it just comes out of left field.....

I didn't have time to take anything with me for lunch yesterday.  By and large, I'd rather pack my own lunch as a way to use leftovers, save money, and show off my culinary skills.  But yesterday I was forced to go out.  Maynardville doesn't have much to offer so I was thinking about where to go.  And the strangest craving came over me.  I wanted a Big Mac. 

Now understand, the last burger I had from McDonald's was around 4-5 years ago.  It was nothing but a grease ball on a bun, turned my stomach.  I can count on one hand the times I've not finished food 'cause it wasn't edible.  If I'm taken to the Arches I'll get grilled chicken, it's the only thing that's not swimming in grease.  But this desire was overwhelming.

So I get my order & I'm thinking "This is gonna turn my stomach, they can't make a burger to save their lives."  And I took a bite, kinda like Squidward trying a Krabby Patty for the first time.

(Come on people, if you don't watch Spongebob, you're just sad, pathetic little puppets.)

Oh...my....

I swear I don't remember them tasting that damn GOOD!  Maybe 'cause it's been years, I don't know.  What I do know is that I fell in love with it all over again.  And that scares me a little 'cause I had a Whopper addiction before they took out Burger King in town.  Is there a support group for people like me?